The greatest gift
Image by -Rita-👩🍳 und 📷 mit ❤ från Pixabay
One week ago, we were blessed with our third kid, our first daughter. The first few days are magical and there is a saying that an infant is the closest thing to seeing the face of God. That one is absolutely true. There is nothing that can come close to it. I have managed to check out temporarily from work these two weeks and for that I am very grateful. It is a rare occasion to have something in front of you that is important for real and not just a misplaced priority.
We have all heard the saying that it is all about the journey, not the destination. Life is what you experience right now, not yesterday or tomorrow. Still, it is almost impossible to honour and live by this rule. I get constantly preoccupied with thoughts on where I am heading instead of taking a break and experience all the wonderful things that are around me right now. But when you throw a newborn into the equation, it becomes damn near impossible to think about anything else. And I cannot think of anything that is more pure and good than a baby. It is a joy and a blessing to let it preoccupy your mind. I can only think of a handful of situations with a similar magnitude, that I have experienced. However, I do hope, that this is a skill that can be practised and polished.
Sometimes I have practised something difficult (like a complex guitar or drum part) for months or even years, and then suddenly I manage to figure it out for a brief moment and then it’s gone again. And with gone, I mean that it can be gone for weeks before I can even come close to playing it again. This is an extremely frustrating situation that I think most musicians have come across. But fear not, all you need to do is keep showing up and with time you will manage to repeat your impressive performance. Probably for a longer period next time. And a third and a forth etc… until it becomes second nature. I know this. And that’s why I can feel the success whenever I manage to do something just once. Anything that you have managed to achieve once, can be done again. This is a fact.
With that mindset, it starts to look very promising. What if I could practice until I can find the magical feeling from seeing a newborn more often? Every single day is an absolute miracle, so there is no shortage of situations worthy of your full and complete attention. Because that’s what it’s all about. Attention. It you can saviour the moment and be there when it happens, my guess is that you will tend to be much happier. It’s a bit “fluffy” to talk about it this way, but it is very easy for me to give a counter-example to prove my point. Think about smartphones at a live concert. Hundreds or perhaps thousands of people take out their phones to record videos at the concert. The videos will have crappy sound quality and will look like garbage. Still, people do it constantly. Just imagine how many of those recorded movies are ever watched. My guess is that a very high percentage will never be viewed by anyone. All that happened was that the person recording had his or her focus on the screen instead of on the situation. The same thing probably happens all the time with kids. We all want to record important occasions with our children, and by doing so our attention is somewhere else. It doesn’t have to be that way, it is just a choice.
This might be one of the greatest blessings and lessons from becoming a father. To learn how to be more present, because time flies faster than you can ever imagine. And the more kids I get, the faster time flies, but thankfully, I also feel much more aware of its passing.
Whatever you do, take measures, and be prepared so that you can be present when opportunities arise. It is insanely difficult, yet totally worth it. It is what life is all about.