Dress like the person you want to become
One of the greatest lies I know of, is that it does not matter how you dress. Anyone who has ever worn a dark formal suit on a funeral agrees with this statement by their action. We dress up to show respect for the dead person. There is a saying that you never get a second chance to make a first impression, and by dressing and grooming inappropriately, you will have made your first impression long before the words start coming out of your mouth. Combine it with a bad posture and insecure body language and you have the perfect recipe for failure in just about any domain.
In this blog, I focus on men’s fashion, but I suspect many of my conclusions can be analogous to female fashion as well. There is a value hierarchy of formality in dress code, but that does not mean that you should rock a white tie and top hat when you pop by the grocery store to pick up some milk. It means that you should dress appropriately for the occasion. Many people today are struggling with focus and productivity when working from home. I highly recommend using dress code to make your life easier. Just like when you dress up for a wedding or a funeral, you use certain outfits when going to work. By using the same clothes as you normally do when going to work, even if you are just sitting at home and don’t meet anyone, your mind will recalibrate itself to “work mode” when you get in your smart or business causal outfit. You are less likely to drift off on Youtube or web surfing if you are dressed like a person who does not engage in self-destructive activities. This can be the perfect time to start experimenting if you feel uncomfortable when dressing sharp. Perhaps it is time to step up your game?
By attending to the details, you indicate that you have your life in order and can be trusted with greater responsibility. If you are a broken person – like I was a couple of years ago – colour matching the stamen of your lapel flower to your shoes will likely be the last thing on your mind. During my burnout recovery in 2017 I used style to get well again, because of the reciprocity principle. If you feel good, you are more likely to dress well. And consequently, dress well and you are more likely to feel better as a result. It works both ways! I have also noticed something unexpected: A significant change in my posture. The most important parameter to get right when dressing is fit. It should not be too loose or too tight, and the shape should balance out your body type. A men’s jacket is often tapered and has quite a snug fit that is perfectly tailored to a good posture. That means that if you slouch and have a bad posture, the jacket will feel uncomfortable, thereby constantly reminding you to straighten your back. When you walk tall with a good posture, your body language will follow, signalling confidence and trust. All of that just because I decided to put on a dress shirt and jacket…
Dressing well can be an expensive hobby, but I think that is the wrong way of looking at it. It is not a hobby; it is an investment. The money you invest in proper clothes will produce so much more value in your life AND in your bank account that I now consider it a no-brainer. Mediterranean cuisine typically has few but high-quality ingredients, and it is delicious. Analogously, you can create a huge number of combinations if you get the proper building blocks in your wardrobe. Go and get the best suit you can afford (navy or charcoal works for everyone). Stay away from black, except for funerals. Then bring it to a tailor and have it adjusted personally so that the fit is perfect. I never do this in the stores anymore. It should be the same person who takes your measurements that makes the adjustments. A personal relationship with your tailor is unbelievably valuable - you will learn a lot from them. Do NOT buy clothes that is one size too small. If I am in doubt, I go for the slightly larger one and have it adjusted. The other way around is unfortunately impossible.
You will never get the job you want or find the right wife if you do not dress like the person you want to become first.