Willpower and habit formation

Image by Derek Robinson from Pixabay

Christmas rush at work, a man cold, and severe sleep depravation after a morning flight. And a whole bunch of sleep depraved nights before that. I am quite sure that the cold is a consequence of an immune system that is just as tired as me. A bit of proper sleep would probably do the trick, if there were enough clock hours. The energy reserves are gone, I am running on fumes now just hanging in there for the final check out on Friday. It is times like these that things are really put to the test. How much do I really want to write this blog post and practice my drums? To go to bed right now, is the easiest sell in the world.

But once you have reached critical mass in a given habit, it’s not that easy anymore. This is blog post 211 and it would feel like an absolute disaster to give up now. I write for the purpose of writing itself, and nothing else. To be a good writer is a literal superpower. And what better way to become that superhero, than to keep showing up once a week to write? Days like these are very difficult. I feel quite empty, as if I don’t have anything of value to share. And there is some truth in that. When you are pushing yourself too hard, I have noticed that there is less and less available time for reflection. Usually, in a normal week, something profound happens one way or another. Life itself is an absolute miracle, so either way I look at it, there should be more that enough things to elaborate on with words. But, when you spend all your mental energy on work and other things, the writing ability grinds to a halt. Those weeks when I have some chance to recharge my batteries on a sustainable level, it is much easier to identify the topic that needs to be written about today. Now, however, I can only visualize going to sleep. There is no room in my mind for complex analysis.

Drums are easier than writing because all you need to do to succeed is to set an egg timer and do a practice session. If your brain has gone into power saving mode, you can at least engage in a braindead technical stick exercise or similar activity. And no matter how bad you play – some nights have been laughably bad – you will still be 15-30 minutes better than before. Over time, this accumulates very strongly and it has never ever failed me. Keep showing up is all there is to it. Bang your head on the wall till it breaks. I know, this is not always the proper solution, but I have also noticed that the probability that you become aware of a problem and try to flank it instead with a different method increases. I have no time to sit down and analyze which approach would work the best. I prefer to simply start drumming to maximize my actual playing hours.

Drums are also more difficult than writing because they require a very high presence and focus to truly “nail it”. When playing an extremely difficult song, there is no room for error whatsoever. So, it is perhaps a bit more of the extremes. There is no thinking involved with preparation for a drum session. I just play and that’s it. How do you do technical exercises with writing that are analogous to my drum lessons? That is not obvious at all to me right now. And if so, then every piece I write must be at least somewhat good. Whereas with drums, it does not matter at all (unless it is a concert of course)

I just realized another crucial difference. These blog posts get published and thus, they have to be something that I can be proud of. Drum practice sessions however, I rarely publish. Perhaps once a month or similar. Obviously, there is no one size fits all solution for what works and what doesn’t. I guess we just have to keep showing up and figuring stuff out ourselves.