You can’t win them all
After a couple of hours of screaming kids and dad duties I can finally start writing my blog post, Iron Maiden style: Two minutes to midnight. Tonight, the only thing driving me forward is the routine. This is the 110th weekly post and for every week it just feels more and more difficult to miss it. I know that if I miss just one post, this blog project is over, but I am not there yet. I find great pleasure in writing even if no one is reading, and that makes it all worth it.
When I am writing, I force myself to convert my current thoughts into a sequential line of points. If my thoughts are inside my mind they are everywhere and nowhere at the same time. They are abstract and diffuse, but the moment I start putting them down in words they become precise. They also become revealing. I often realize when writing that I might not agree with my own words. It is kind of like having a debate with myself. And the result is often that I improve my thoughts. It is such a useful exercise. I think that this is the part of the process that I have become hooked at. By practicing writing I practice thinking.
It is also crystal-clear tonight that without routines and habits, my progress is impossible. Oh, how easy it would have been to just go to bed now instead of firing up the computer and getting to work. But to call this “work” does not feel correct. I’d rather consider it a crucial part of character development. And it is kind of a brain dump. Every Monday, I know that I can just unload some of the pressure inside my mind by converting thoughts into written words. And that can make place for new thoughts and ideas in a mind that previously was full.
Thinking is a very resource intensive process. It requires a lot of energy which needs to be replenished. And friends are an effective way to do that. However, my social life is pretty much in ruins since 2019 when I entered the next life phase with kids and self-employment. I used to be a very extroverted guy with tons of social interactions, but nowadays they are close to zero. I have simply focused on dad duties and career realignment with all I got. I have felt this is a serious problem for some time now and have started to act and meet some old friends again. At least once a month should be a good start. Last weekend I had one of my best friends over to just hang out and talk over a couple of beers. It is the mental equivalent to a Tesla Supercharger. With such people, a fatigued mind can almost bounce back to normal instantly. So, to not make time for such things is without a doubt counterproductive.