Two months ago, I became a father for the third time. I have heard countless times that “when you become a parent, you will never have any more time of your own again” or something similar. Which is a big fat lie, of course. It just requires priorities and planning. A very good approach to a problem that seems too difficult is to realize that the reason you are stuck is because the problem is too easy. By increasing the difficulty level, you eliminate more of your options, until only a handful or preferably only one option remain. If you only have one choice, then the path forward becomes rather obvious.

Diary, HabitsRikard ÖqvistJuly 5, 2024habits, routine, consistencyComment

Fifteen minutes a day keeps the divorce away – pt II.

A month ago I wrote a piece about our newfound morning routine; A coffee between 06:20 and 06:30 with my wife. By now, we should be around two months into the habit. It’s not like I would consider our marriage problematic – not even close – but the general improvements in life quality I have seen in this very short time is mind-boggling. I read many years ago that some Buddhist monk or something said that the last thing you do before you go to bed determines the quality of your sleep. And the first thing you do after waking up determines the quality of your day. This quote has stuck with me and pops up in my mind from time to time. The morning coffee must be a perfect example of the latter part of the quote.

Habits, Parenting, PhilosophyRikard ÖqvistJune 12, 2023family, routine, mornings, sleep, relationship, marriage, loveComment

Fifteen minutes a day keeps the divorce away.

A couple of weeks ago, me and my wife introduced a good habit. Between 06:20 and 06:30 we enjoy a fresh cup of coffee together. At this time, the sun has just risen above the sea, bathing everything in golden light while the boys and dogs are sleeping. There is zero chance that you will be interrupted by a phone call or an email or just about anything. Those ten minutes per day will add up incrementally over time to something very special. A relationship is the sum of 10 000 atomized tiny actions.

Diary, Parenting, Philosophy, HabitsRikard ÖqvistMay 15, 2023routine, ritual, habit, marriage, children, parenting, relationshipComment

Creative starvation

Isn’t it paradoxical that to stimulate the creative process, you need to increase the difficulty and make it harder for yourself? Time constraints are especially useful in this regard and works very well for me. I.e. unconditionally write and publish a blog post in 30 minutes max. Like I just did with this one. Whatever you do, do not choose the “When it’s done”-approach. Because if you choose that road, the probability increases that you will remain stationary.

Art, HabitsRikard ÖqvistAugust 2, 2021writing, video, blogging, vlogging, creativity, routine, habits, growthComment

When is the optimal time to practice?

I always practice a musical instrument 15 minutes per day and have been doing it every day for the past seven years. In these years I have been experimenting with the optimal practice time, and I have tried all of them. What I have found, is that a habit like this works best first thing in the morning. When you open your eyes after a night’s sleep, your mind is fresh and feels like a blank slate. As the day goes on, more and more ideas enter your mind. And at the end of the day, the mind is so full of thoughts and ideas that a night’s sleep is needed to crystalize them, so that the process can start over the next day. That’s why I have found the morning hours to work best, but there are also other factors to consider.

Habits, MusicRikard ÖqvistJuly 12, 2021practice, consistency, focus, growth, routine, habits, writing Comments

The one-minute method

A New Year’s resolution is a good example of a (commonly) failed commitment. Many people promise that they are going to do this and that on a daily basis, and then they do it a couple of times and then they give up. I believe the problem is that they set the bar too high. The solution is to define a daily activity and set your bar so low – I mean extremely low – that you cannot find an excuse not to do the daily activity, no matter what happens. Read that last sentence again. The habit must be performed Every. Single. Day. Because the moment you stop doing it, it is not a habit anymore. And if the bar is too high, the habit forming can be very difficult, because we all have bad days.

Art, Habits, PhilosophyRikard ÖqvistSeptember 19, 2020consistency, habits, discipline, progressnotperfection, growth, routineComment